'Welcome To The Party!'

Would somebody please tell me what it is that the Tea Party wants? I hear that they want to go back to the good old days. Do they want to go back to the days of segregation? Do they want to go back to nursing, teaching, and secretarial work as the only jobs open to women? Do they want to go back to 8 teams in the National League and 8 teams in the American League? Well, I kind of like that idea. There are too many players nowadays and it is hard to keep up. Life was so much easier when we had fewer choices. Is that what the Tea Party wants? Fewer Choices.

In response to the Tea Party, I wish to announce a new political party. The Diet Soda Party. The DSP contains no fat, no carbs, no sugar, but some salt, so our language might turn a little salty. The Diet Soda Party would like to go back to the Good-Old Days also. The days when the rich paid their fair share of taxes. The days when corporations actually had their headquarters in the U. S. and they paid corporate income taxes, and actually manufactured products in country. The days when we honored and supported Union Labor.

The Diet Soda Party is the party for the middle class. We want to help and support the lower class. The upper class can kiss our ass. The Diet Soda Party is a Green Party. We need to move from dependence on oil to solar, air, and other alternative forms of energy. The kinds of energy endorsed by Jimmy Carter 30 years ago. The kinds of energy shelved by Reagan and the Republican gang. This oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico shows how dangerous our dependence on oil is to our planet.

We need to move away from the automobile to mass transit. This is why the DSP is a supporter of the Madison to Milwaukee Railroad. Why would I go to Milwaukee? Maybe to see a Brewer game, a play, or gamble at Potawatami. I would much rather take a train and then a bus or cab than drive and park. If you have 2 people in the car, and it costs you 20 gallons of fuel to make the trip; that would be 10 gallons a person. A train could carry 70 people on those 10 gallons. Also consider the wear and tear on the interstate. Conservatively speaking the train would save 10 percent on wear and tear. Accidents and deaths would also decrease by at least 10 percent. The secret of success is to have as many trains as possible running. This increases the convenience.

I know there are some people who think we can’t afford the expenditure. I have a suggestion. Establish a State Bank. All money collected by the state is deposited in the Bank of Wisconsin, we would pay ourselves a higher interest rate and pay a lower interest rate on money borrowed. I know this is simplistic and it is probably more complicated. If it could succeed the winners would be the citizens of Wisconsin and not the fat cats, but we’ve already established that we don’t care about them.

I have three more items I have to comment on. First : Ayn Rand and Rand Paul. I really enjoyed “Atlas Shrugged” and “The Fountainhead” when I was younger and considered myself a Libertarian, but I realized that human nature would not self-regulate. We need government for that. Second: Texas, really, Joe McCarthy is a hero? Third: Illegal Aliens. Aren’t we supposed to require passports now? We clamp down on the employers, if they don’t have a passport then you don’t hire them. And you pay them at least minimum wage. Remember, the Diet Soda Party needs you! Unless you’re a rich asshole.