By Doris Deits
There is a fundamental change occurring in human consciousness that is expected to redefine human awareness – making it more spiritually connected and less self-focused.
What I mean by that is we will naturally stop thinking so much about our own self-protection, which is often the culprit that fuels negative relating patterns.
In many ways, relating and communicating are simply a game of chess. Who can out maneuver whom. Who can convince the other of their superiority. One winner, one loser. To the victor go the spoils.
Power, control and dominance are in constant flux with every conversation. At work, with friends, spouses, children, teachers, authority figures and even strangers. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.
Innuendo, mixed messages, hidden agendas – are all tried and true methods of relating that mislead, misinform and manipulate. All foster mistrust. All hide the truth.
Fear of hurting another’s feelings. Masking our own hurts and disappointments. Pretending we are fine, just fine. Never complaining, always putting our needs last. All foster martyrdom and resentment. All repress the truth.
Constant complaining. Unrealistic expectations. Blaming others for how we feel. Criticism. Righteous anger. All foster victimhood. All deny the truth.
Humans have fostered negative and abusive patterns of behavior and beliefs for a very long time. The goal, for the most part, is to survive and get as much of everything as possible to ensure survival for a long time.
Controlling and manipulating people and resources is just plain good planning to the instinctive survival urge. That urge doesn’t care who gets hurt, even to the point of leading to it’s own destruction.
That’s where humanity is right now. This survival program has outgrown its usefulness.
Fortunately, our evolution is fast at work giving this survival urge a new upgrade. People are starting to feel differently without fully understanding this sometimes confusing internal upgrading process.
Since everybody operates from the survival urge program, we will all experience this process in our own way.
Relationships of all kinds are under tremendous pressure to change. How we relate to ourselves, each other and our environment are all in the mix. Upheaval is a sign of this pressure. Change must happen in order to bring in something better.
If change is happening in your neck of the woods, it’s best not to try to stop it. Ride it out and see where it goes. Chances are good that things will settle out for the better.
The most challenging areas will be in our closest relationships. Our marriages, our children, our partnerships, friends and workplaces will be rocked to their core in order to shake loose those overly destructive relating patterns. Out with the old and in with the new.
The goal of our evolutionary upgrade is to find better ways of relating to each other that are more sincere and honest. Without sincere and honest relating, we cannot discard that which no longer serves us.
While it’s easy to point a finger at someone else and see them as the problem, it doesn’t serve us. We can help our own process by looking at the role we play on the stage of life.
What do we see when we look at our prejudices, things we believe to be right or wrong and how do we treat people who violate our internal list of rules? What if our “rules” are the problem?
Having an attitude of willingness to change or alter long-held beliefs is imperative to our evolution. Letting go of those things that don’t work for us anymore is the fastest way to move forward.
Once we make the decision to change, we are faced with the difficulty of the habitual nature of our negative relating. After all, we’ve been doing it a long time, so it will take some practice to change it. But we’ll feel a whole lot better.